The Screaming Sheep

I'm envious of my neighbors who live in a cooler house.

I’m envious of Neruda for having written better poems

& for having lived in a cooler house. I'm envious of poetry

 

for being more & better than I could ever be. I'm envious

of the redwood who never has to say I am & who will

outlive me. I’m envious of those who can consistently resist

pseudo-Buddhist romanticizations of non-human entities.

 

I’m envious of the clouds who can from time to time

fall completely apart & everyone just says, It's raining,

& someone might even bring cats & dogs into it,

 

no one says, Stop being so dramatic or You should see

a professional. My envy despises your more dramatic

& photogenic envy. My envy desires Olympic gymnast

Danell Leyva's abs. My envy wants to have & be most

 

Olympic athletes. My envy would be willing to settle

for those who did not make it to the podium. Every day I get

increasingly envious of my friend who dresses so smartly.

 

Of my friend who's more political. Of my friend who says,

Oh, that’s good enough, why am I stressing out? & means it

& stops stressing & is happy. I'm envious of my friend who's

envious of me because he actually wants something I have.

 

I'm envious of those who learn Life Lessons from their envy.

I’m envious of jealous God & those who always know

the difference between envy & jealousy.

 

I’m envious of jealous God because although he’s been

dead for ages, everyone keeps caring about him, or at least

saying his name, & God knows who’ll do that for me,

ten, twenty years after I go. Perhaps even in death I’ll be

 

envious of the Gap employee who gets to stop folding clothes

& go home & not keep working on his poems.

Or maybe he does but then they turn out to be quite

 

good, & he gets a big book deal which turns into a movie deal

& Meryl Streep plays Truth & George Clooney plays Beauty

& Gene Siskel & Roger Ebert both come back from the dead

just to give Mr. Gap Employee two thumbs up.